Treatise on life and death

Why does a society that professes to be so religious, such as the US, fear “end of life” death so much?  Shouldn’t belief in a religion which promises some form of afterlife to its believers be comforting?  Not that all religions promise a form of afterlife, but the majority of people in the US claim to believe in one of the religions that do.  So why has end of life death become the enemy? 

I certainly understand the fear and grief associated with “early” death – a person taken in their prime, a child, or infant, taken before even starting to live a fulfilled life.  But death is the natural end point to living.  No one has escaped it (that we are aware of), and we shouldn’t wish to escape it.  If everyone kept living on this earth, forever and ever, what would happen to new generations?  It would be chaos; it would be the end of the earth.  Look what has been happening due to increased life spans, improvements in health care, decreases in infant and early child mortality, decreased death due to wars, decreases in famine.  Previous generations had war, disease, and famine to cull the herd of humanity.  We have conquered most of those cullings. We haven’t made concomitant decreases in the birth rate, so we are crowded and resources are becoming scarce.  We have literally changed the earth – and not necessarily for the better. 

Why have I started writing about life and death.  I had pain from a sinus infection last night and couldn’t sleep well.  My mind starting pondering the initial reactions to the Obama health plan – “death squads killing off” grandma and grandpa.  How totally ludicrous!  As someone who has been involved in health care (or, more accurately, sick care) for many years, I strongly believe we have taken saving “lives” to an extreme.  Does your 85 year old grandma deserve the same intensity (and, yes, we must include cost) of “life saving” interventions as your 60 year old mother?  Why?  In general, an 85 year old person doesn’t have the same ability to bounce back from those invasive “life saving” actions as a younger person.  Ok, not everyone is the same and there are some 85 year olds who are a lot healthier than I am.  But on the average, as you age, your body changes, the skin changes and doesn’t protect you from invaders as well, your organs have aged and don’t work as well, if at all, your brain isn’t synapsing as efficiently, and your immune system isn’t functioning well.  Assaulting that person with anesthesia, complex surgical procedures, multiple invasive devices, medications and other strong toxins (yes, a medication to a younger person can be a dangerous toxin to an older one), and hospital associated microorganisms, can have a much graver outcome than to a younger, healthier person.  Rather than prolonging life, it prolongs death.  And it can be an agonizing death.  Not at home, but in a hospital, hooked up to machinery, your privacy non-existent, your ability to choose what you want often taken out of your hands.  Whoa, I hope that doesn’t happen to me!

A century or more ago, when an older person was nearing death, the body started to shut down.  In general, it was accepted (although not always welcomed) – by the person and by his or her loved ones.  The appetite diminished, interest in activities diminished, and life came to an end.  In some cultures the old person wandered off to a culturally accepted place to face their end.  Family members would look for them in a day or two to perform whatever rituals were associated with their passing.  It was natural, a life was celebrated at their death.  And others continued on. 

Now we fight death as the enemy.  When grandma’s appetite slows down she is often hospitalized and fed via a tube.  She is made to feel guilty for reaching the end of her life, because we love her and want her to live.  How inhumane!  When the cancer patient is in agony from the pain associated with end stage disease, we don’t allow them to choose to terminate their life.  That is seen as a crime, they can be made to feel guilty for wishing for their end (again, because we love them and want them to live)  We make them hold onto life, prolonging their inevitable death, glorifying in their pain by calling them “heroic” or “long suffering” as if their excruciating pain is some sort of gift.  How inhumane!

I’ve told my son that in 10, or 20, or 30 years and I am ready to go, if I wander away into the wilds around my home, to let me go.  Don’t send the searchers after me right away.  Find me after I have found the right tree, or rock, at which to meet my end.  Find me after the coyotes and ravens have starting to feast.  That’s the way of life.  That’s the way of death.