Yesterday was the anniversary of my grandson's stillbirth. So many tears, so many memories - again, both good and very, very bad. From now on everything is a "second" not a first. We survived the first year, we will survive subsequent years. But he will never be forgotten.
The night before last, one year from Liam's death in his mother's womb, I had a dream. Not the beautiful, touching dream that my daughter in law had, yet still a good dream. In this dream, which started sometime after 3am on the 18th, I saw an infant from the chest up. It (gender unknown, therefore the use of "it") wasn't a newborn, but probably a few weeks old and had a receiving blanket pulled up to the underarms. My first sleeping thought was "this is Liam." But then the baby looked up at me, took a breath, and started to cry, arms flailing. Laim never breathed, never cried. Then the dream ended. I interpret this as a very positive dream of the near future, of an infant who will live, who we will love, who will love us, and who will cry to be held.
What a beautiful dream.
ReplyDeleteThe day you posted this was my daughter's due date, but instead she was stillborn 2 months earlier at 31 weeks. Like you wrote in a previous post, stillbirth is so cruel. I'm so sorry you have to know what that's like. <3
Thank you for your kind comment.
DeleteMy daughter in law is pregnant again and I just haven't felt like posting since then. We are all very anxious, and hopeful, although all is well with her pregnancy and she is 32 weeks along today. I'm so sorry for your loss.